The Road Less Traveled
by finchelforever89
Summary: Rachel Berry's selfishness and conceitedness ends up causing severe consequences for the unlucky Finn Hudson who ends up in a tragic accident. Can what started out as a mistake end up being destiny in disguise?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: A Drive to Remember

"I just don't understand" replied Rachel Berry over the phone to her agent and long time best friend, Jesse St. James. "I kill with Don't Rain on My Parade. How could they not like what they heard? You said that all I would have to do was sing that song for them and the job was mine!"

Rachel, a high school star with high expectations had not found life to be too easy after leaving the dream of being the National Show Choir Championship star behind her last year. Convinced that she would make it big in New York City she had left with all of the money she could save and put a lease on an apartment. For the past six months she had done nothing but work at Ellen's Stardust Diner as a singing waitress and auditioning at countless places in the hopes of one day achieving her one dream, to be a star on Broadway. She realized a while back that her personal feelings of superiority seemed to be quite unfounded, for no one seemed to really take to her as she was so sure they would. After this latest failure, not getting a part time job singing at a sleazy night club, Rachel was feeling not only ashamed but defeated.

"They just said that you weren't what they were looking for at the moment but to come back again in a few months and reapply" said Jesse. "But don't give up hope yet! All it takes is for one call back and your entire life could change."

"But the problem is is that I don't even want these stupid jobs! All you are getting me are these stupid jobs as singing waitresses and that idiotic job as a singing delivery person; I'm a star Jesse! I want to be on Broadway, singing alongside Sutton Foster or Kristin Chenoweth not making eight dollars an hour at SingSong Telegrams!" Rachel yelled into the phone. As she angrily hung up the phone she instantly regretted it. She really had been working so hard on not letting her ambition and conceitedness get the better of her but this constant denial and failure had been putting her in one of her moods where lashing out seemed the only possible thing to do. Intending to call Jesse back and apologize, her favorite karaoke club, Ally's Karaoke happened to catch her eye and decided she would just call Jesse back later and give him time to cool off.

As she walked inside the cozy lounge she finally felt at home. Ever since she had found this quaint little club that was off the beaten track she found herself coming here more and more. It was her getaway from the vastly disappointing world of rejections and letdowns. Here she could sing her heart out and everyone loved her, they clapped and begged for more. It was in this club that Rachel found herself living out her favorite fantasy; she could shut her eyes and be transported to a world where she could just feel the warmth and love of a crowd that truly did appreciate her and her talent.

Tonight was no different, as she walked into the club she heard the traditional greetings of admirers and acquaintances. She sat at her usual table by herself and listened to some twenty something drunk girl pitifully butcher "And I Will Always Love You" and wondered why people who truly could not sing would ever get up in front of a crowd and pour their hearts out, it could only ever lead to embarrassment. As the girl finished Rachel tried to think of what song from her repertoire she would belt out tonight. She was definitely feeling something chilling yet beautiful. She would have sang one of her old favorites, "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" but ever since that song didn't get her into NYADA she had strong feelings against it. It may have helped her school win the National School Choir Championship but her last chance performance for Carmen Tibideaux wasn't enough to get her access to the school of her dreams. Settling on one of her all time favorites "Defying Gravity," she got up there poured her heart and soul into the song. Her voice softly caressed each note as she sang and she could see as the small crowd looked at her in awe and amazement, perhaps even a touch of jealousy.

As the last shouts of "Bravo!" and "Encore!" were being shouted Rachel sat down and decided to drown her sorrows in some wine, for the club never carded. She smiled as she remembered her own dabbling with alcohol in high school and how much fun she used to have with her friends. Before long she had finished a couple glasses and got up to leave. As she got into her car, the only gift from her dads as she ventured off into her new life she realized she probably shouldn't get in. She decided to take the streets that weren't necessarily the most populated, streets that people usually avoided late at night in an effort to avoid hitting anyone.

As she was driving to her apartment she kept thinking about how her life in New York had been such a letdown so far and how nothing seemed to be going her way. Her talent was indisputable and her resumé was slightly lacking yet no one could deny that having a national title was certainly impressive. She had given up so much all in the efforts to make it big in this wonderful world that she dreamed of her entire life. She just hadn't understood how much she would sacrifice, how hard she would try. The young star thought that giving up her life back home was enough of a sacrifice she didn't know that she would have to throw everything she had in her again and again in the hopes that something sticks. Rachel hadn't even allowed herself a boyfriend in school because she knew that her happiness was here in New York City. She knew that path she was headed on must be traveled alone.

As all these thoughts were rushing through her head, filling her with feelings of remorse and guilt she didn't even see the large man running across the road. Before she could even think about it she was upon him and it was all she could do to slam on her brakes and pray for the best.

-Earlier that same day-

It was all Finn Hudson could do to not restrain himself from beating the crap out of the useless little man standing in front of him. If what he was saying was true, then Finn wouldn't even be able to stay at the Center anymore and he would officially be homeless. The Center took in boys off the street where they had no where else to go and offered them food and shelter for manual labor around the city.

"You don't understand _sir_, its the other boys that are out to get me!" Finn protested but to no avail, it appeared that Mr. Roberts only had one thing on his mind and that was to get Finn kicked out this last safe haven.

"I'm sorry kid, I really am but I can't appear to be tolerating this kind of behavior, especially from some kid who has the option to go home if he wanted to" replied Mr. Roberts not at all apologetically despite his words. "I've been hearing these reports for months now, brawls in the cafeteria and assaults on the basketball court, it's no way to run a center that is supposed to be an escape from the harsh world."

"It's not fair, they have it in for me!" Finn shouted again, desperately hoping for Mr. Roberts to understand that Finn didn't ask for any of this. "I know how it sounds but they're jealous of me! They taunt me because I was the star quarterback for my school and have a house in the suburbs."

"It seems to me your life is pretty good then son. Why don't you head going back to all that if you have it all? Most of these boys would kill for that kind of home life." asked Mr. Roberts, but gave the impression that he couldn't care less why Finn left his life. All he seemed to care about was Finn leaving so that he could restore order to his center.

However, Finn just stood there not offering any explanation as to why a nineteen year old boy would leave his home and life behind and choose instead to live in a community center with twenty other boys. He stood there for a solid minute until the awkward silence was too much for the Director to handle and forced him to once again ask the boy to leave.

"I'm sorry, I feel guilty about having to do it but I have to do it for the good of the other kids who don't have the option to go home to a nice loving family. Whatever there issue with you is, whether it be well founded or not is just causing too many problems. I wish you the best of luck and I can probably swing some money for you out of your emergency fund if you still insist on not going home."

"I don't need your money, I'm fine on my own." Finn replied angrily and stormed off to his bedroom to gather his belongings. As he headed up the three flights of stairs he just grew more and more angry. Mr. Roberts and the other kids at the Center knew nothing about his home life. It was ludicrous that they bullied him because he had such a "wonderful" home life. If they knew half the stuff he had to deal with at home they wouldn't harass him so much. Most of those kids came from homes where parents just couldn't make ends meet and realized that it would be better for their children to have them work at the center and be guaranteed a meal than scrounge around the city looking for scraps. Other kid's parents didn't want them, they grew to just be more trouble than they were worth. Because they came from such awful places Finn thought that they would understand better than anyone that life wasn't all it was cracked up to be but he was wrong. As he was packing the last of his few precious belongings together his one and only friend left to him in the world, Blake Renner walked up to him.

"Is it true man? Is Mr. Roberts really giving you the boot?"

"It doesn't matter, I'll be better off on my own anyway" said Finn. "Let's be honest, all we ever have here is grilled cheese and stale cookies for a whole lot of work that isn't worth it."

"So what then, you're just going to leave? And where are you going to live and what are you going to eat and how are we going to be able to see each other?" asked Blake. He could tell from his cracking voice that he was giving away how upset he was but he didn't seem to care.

"I'm going to be just fine, I still have a little bit of my savings left over from home and for a while I can just do my own thing. The whole point of me leaving home was to clear my head, see and try to understand a little bit more of the world and try to gain some perspective." said Finn warily.

"You know that's not the whole reason you left, and the more you run away from it the more it will end up haunting you." warned Blake.

"I'll be just fine" and with that Finn walked out of the Center, trying to prepare himself for the next phase of his life and the challenges ahead. He decided to go and sit at his favorite little outdoor cafe and read the large collection of newspapers that had accumulated on the ground around the place. While Finn was never the biggest fan of reading or school, it was something to keep him occupied and before long he had noticed that it was getting dark. Just as he was about to get up and find a nice enclosed space for him to spend the night something caught his eye.

As he quickly scanned the article in horror he felt all the feelings of rage, disappointment, sorrow, and angst he had been feeling for months now all come rushing back and hit him like a giant wave. He got up in a daze and found a semi-sketchy alleyway and let out all of his emotions. His feelings of abandonment and guilt and shame were so strong that he realized this life he was living had been hard enough but with this new knowledge, it was just too much. The more he thought about it the more he realized how much he no longer wanted to be apart of a world that wouldn't stick up for him, that wouldn't see how much pain he was really in. In that moment he decided that there was only thing to do, to end it all.

He made off for the Brooklyn Bridge with only thing in mind, to make the jump. He was running so fast he didn't even notice the headlights that could be seen around the corner. Finn's one and only thought was to make it to the bridge before he could change his mind. Before he knew it, the car was on him and all of a sudden everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Start of Something New

As Finn lay there in a coma he lost all sense of time and reality. In his mind all he could think of was the home he had left and of the awful discovery he had made in the newspaper. It had been two weeks since Rachel Berry had hit him with the car and so far he hadn't woken up. While he could not seem to wake up or hear anything that was going on around him he was vaguely aware of a presence that had so far not left his side. And every once in a while, he heard the sweetest sounds, a voice singing to him and him alone.

Finn could not help but think about his last few months at home with his mother Carol and her new boyfriend Burt. After Finn's dad had died a hero in the army Finn had always craved a father figure in his life but his mother never let him meet any of her boyfriends that she dated as he grew up. After 18 years of that Carol finally let him meet the one she knew was going to marry. Burt was just a middle aged, balding man with a son and a kind soft-spoken manner. When Finn first met him he couldn't have been happier, he could tell how genuinely happy his mother was. And for a perfect months, as Burt moved in, the four of them were truly happy.

The first time Burt had hit Carol he played it off as a joke. It was during breakfast and Carol had forgotten to buy orange juice and he turned around and smacked her on the back of the head. Afterwards he just said he got a little too carried away with the joke but Finn couldn't help but notice that Kurt, Burt's son quietly just looked away and looked embarrassed.

For the next couple of months of Finn's senior year Burt would continue to hit her when she did something "stupid" or she forgot something. Every time Finn would try to say something his mother would defend Burt and tell Finn to stay out of it. It pained Finn to see her mother become this sort of pitiful person, constantly craving the love and approval of this monster.

It wasn't until the time that Burt threw a picture frame and hit Carol in the head that Finn got up and said something to him. _"Enough!" Finn shouted. "Leave her alone! All she has ever done for you is try to make you happy! _

With that Burt had only laughed and proceeded to beat up Finn as his mother only turned away. As physically hurt as Finn was the thing that hurt the most was that Carol had turned away from his for the love of the man who was causing her all of this pain. Later that same night Kurt had come to Finn in his bedroom and warned him _"Convince your mom to leave and get out. This won't ever stop, I've seen him do this before. Ever since my mom left us ten years ago he has had it out against women and the littlest thing they do wrong he sees as an attack. You won't ever be happy here, you have to escape. I'll be fine here, I'm the only person he has left to love him."_

And for the last months of his senior year he begged and pleaded with his mother to leave with him, to follow him to school and they could live in an apartment off campus together across town. But all of this was in vain, Carol just would not leave him. When graduation finally rolled around Finn was actually to the point of disgust with his mother, she was covered in bruises as was he. After the ceremony they decided to go out to some fancy restaurant and act like a big happy family. Out of the blue, Burt had got down on one knee and asked Carol to make him the happiest man on Earth and marry him. As Finn thought about what this would mean if they got married he realized he wouldn't be able to live with this for rest of his life. He shot his mother a look that clearly stated "_It's me or him mom, choose and live with it." _As Carol sat there looking at Finn and Burt it wasn't a choice of who she wanted in her life more, it was about avoiding the life that she so desperately was afraid of: being left all alone. She know at one point Finn would leave to begin his life and she would be left all alone.

Finn still remembered with horror as his mother said "_Oh Burt, you really know how to sweep me off my feet! Of course I'll marry you!"_ And with that Burt ran over to hug her as Kurt just looked apologetic to Finn. When Carol looked over Burt's shoulder at Finn he just nodded at her and walked away. As he left the restaurant and ultimately the only life he had ever knew he began to run to his house, faster and faster to escape the pain he was feeling. He got inside his house and grabbed a backpack and began to stuff old photos, candy bars and as much of the money he had into it. He took a bus into New York City, a city where he could easily lose himself in and would never be found unless he wanted to be. Finally, he was in control of his own life.

Rachel Berry had been sitting by Finn Hudson's bed around the clock for two weeks now. He had been in a coma from the moment she had hit him but the doctors said he should wake up at anytime now, the coma was only his body's response to protect him. The doctors continuously reassured her that he would be fine, other than his concussion and broken leg there was nothing else to worry about. Their main concern was that they could find no identification on him, no one had filed a missing persons report or been by to visit other than Rachel.

As self-involved as she was Rachel knew that she would never be able to make it up this person and that it was her own petty complaints and selfishness that had lead up to her hitting him. While she sat next to his bed she tried to guess what kind of life he lead. She had never considered how little she thought about others until now. She realized that this person could be anyone; from a child genius to a drug dealer to a boy who was trying to make it into show business. Rachel thought how every person in the world had a story unique unto themselves, a reason for why they are doing anything in their lives.

She tried to make scenarios up in her head as to why he was running across a street in a hurry, not even bother to check if there were any cars coming. Always being a hopeless romantic, she figured he was running to a loved one before they got away, not even caring about his own life as long as he got that one last kiss. She realized that this probably wasn't true, but in her head she liked to imagine that it wasn't just because she was driving slightly drunk that landed this poor man in this awful situation.

Later that day Jesse had showed up with some food from her favorite vegetarian restaurant. "You have to eat Rachel" he gently reminded her. "It won't do him or you any good just sitting here staring at him. Has anyone shown up yet to visit him?"

"No" she said quietly appreciating how truly handsome this unknown man was, even as he appeared to be sleeping. "I tell you, something is wrong here. How is it that NO ONE is missing him? No missing persons report? I wonder if he's an orphan.."

"Well sitting here wondering that isn't going to solve anything. You've missed auditions, you haven't showered in I don't even want to know how long and you have stopped eating. No matter how much of this is your fault you have to let it go, you didn't mean to hit him and the doctors say he should make a full recovery!" Even though Jesse was only trying to help as he said this Rachel didn't want to hear it.

"I can't just leave him here to wake up alone and scared, not knowing what has happened to him!" she shouted. "I've put him like this and I'm sorry but there's no way I can in good conscience go back to auditions and waitressing while this man is sitting here in a coma!" And with that Rachel went back to singing softly to the man, songs that she figured a man like him would find soothing and peaceful.

Jesse just sighed, left the food behind and left the hospital room. He knew that Rachel had and always will be stubborn but if she didn't leave the hospital soon and return back to reality she might lose everything she has worked so hard on.

Back in the room Rachel began to cry softly to herself. She vowed to herself that no matter what it took she would make it up this stranger. She felt that this was a wake up call from God Himself, warning her not to be so ambitious and selfish that she doesn't stop to think about what her actions can do to people. She promised not only to make it up to him, but she would stop pitying herself so much and continue to go to auditions. She knew that this life she had chosen for herself was not going to be easy by any means, and there would be times that she would do jobs that were beneath her all in the hopes that one day she would stand there in front of a crowd of people all cheering her on as she made her Broadway debut.

Whether it was the sound of her crying or fate was finally ready to begin, the mystery man finally woke slowly. As Rachel sat there by a chair next to the bed she didn't even notice as the man opened his eyes and reached over, grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Hey now, there's nothing to cry about. Do you know where I can grab something to eat? I'm starved."

For the first in what seemed like forever Rachel smiled, got up and brought him her veggie burger and gave it to him. "Here eat this" she said "it may look gross but it tastes great."

"I think I'll stick with hospital food" he said as he choked down the burger with a laugh. "My name is Finn by the way. Can you tell me what I'm doing here? And hey, what's your name by the way?

"My name's Rachel" she replied with a smile and then she began to tell him her life, of why she was driving a little bit drunk, of why she was even at the karaoke bar in the first place instead of back in Ohio where she was originally from and of her recent failures as an actress. Suddenly she was afraid of something that she had never considered, what if this man hates her for what she did? What if he never gives her the chance to make it up to him? But it didn't stop her from pouring her heart out to this kind man.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Decisions to be Made

"Sir, I'm sorry but if you don't give me your name I won't be able to contact someone who can pick you up. And if I can't find someone I can't let you get out of here because you're going to be needing constant attention for the next couple of weeks. You have two broken ribs, a broken leg and a concussion that might be cause for concern. I can't in good conscience let you go home unless I know that you're going to be well taken care of." said Dr. Simpson, the doctor in charge of Finn's case.

Before Finn could come up with a good excuse as to why he wouldn't tell the kind doctor who he was, Rachel walked in the room and Finn asked the doctor if he could come back later. As the doctor obliged, Rachel sat in her chair and pulled up close to Finn's bed. It had been two weeks since Finn had woken up and since then Rachel had visited him once a day, singing him songs and reading books to him.

It had turned out that her fear that Finn would hate her was unfounded. He never even batted an eye as she told him what had transpired. What's more is he even seemed to understand the rest of her story, of her leaving home in the hopes to better her life for herself, that what she wanted was so important to her that she was willing to give up everything. He jokingly made a deal, that he wouldn't press charges against Rachel so long as she came and visited him everyday, and promised to sing him at least one song. If there was one thing that he truly appreciated about Rachel it was her voice. He could tell that she wasn't merely bragging, she truly was a star. And the best part was that when she sang, he could tell exactly what she was feeling, it was always so honest that he couldn't help but feel amazed.

In all of their long talks about life and where they saw themselves in ten years and what Rachel's life has been like since coming to the city they never once talked about Finn's mysterious past. It was as if there was some unspoken rule that made it clear that they could talk about anything, but Finn's past. And it wasn't as if Rachel wasn't curious about why no one ever came to visit him or he never asked if his parents had been notified, but after she had put him in this position she felt that it wasn't her place to demand an answer.

One day, just as Rachel was about to leave Dr. Simpson stopped in, he had been hoping for the chance to meet Finn's visitor so he could finally get some answers. "Ah, Miss Berry is it? I was wondering if I could talk to you and Finn for a moment before you left." asked the doctor, motioning towards the chair Rachel has just been occupying.

As Rachel took her chair she asked "I hope everything is okay doctor, there haven't been any recent complications?"

"No no dear, I was just wondering if you could shed any light on the situation and give me a number to reach any of Finn's family at, he hasn't exactly been forthcoming with any personal details. We don't even know his last name and without that I can't locate the family myself."

Finn shot the doctor a look that clearly told him to back off but the doctor had to do what he felt was best for his patient.

Rachel arched her eyebrows and replied "Well actually doctor he hasn't exactly told me anything either, but if it's a matter of signing him out I would be more than happy to do it."

"Well actually it is more of a matter of being able to release him with the knowledge that he will be well taken care of at home. He will be needing constant attention for a while and I have to know that he will be taken care of" the doctor said calmly.

Finn angrily cut in with "Will you both please stop pretending I'm not here? And I told you Doc, I'm fine I don't need to be taken care of at home!"

As Rachel sat there and thought about the predicament it didn't take long for her to decide what the right thing to do was. "He can come and live with me. While I might not be family I promise I will give him the best care that I can and my best friend lives just a few floors above so if I'm out at work he can always call upstairs and ask for help."

The doctor looked unsure about this decision and Finn, although he recognized the kind act couldn't accept. "I'm sorry Rachel, that's really sweet of you to offer but I can't let you do that. It would be too much of a burden and you don't even know me that well."

"It's my fault you're like this in the first place! If you think I'm going to let you just wander the streets like some sort of bum because you are too embarrassed to call back home and tell your parents that you were out sneaking around in the City you have another thing coming. Whatever your reason is for not coming home, if it's that bad that you can't ask them then I am all you have. Let me help you, I only have a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan but I have a big couch that you are welcome to sleep on for as long as you need. And I _won't_ take no for an answer. Doctor, what would I have to be looking out for with this concussion?" Rachel then turned to the doctor and began writing down everything that he was saying to her, making sure that she would know what to do when and what to be on the watch out for.

And although Finn had never really agreed it seemed to have been decided that he would be living with this kind girl who screwed up once and wouldn't forgive herself until he showed her that he was all better.

Rachel's back was turned so she missed the tiniest of smiles appeared on Finn's face as he thought of how lucky he was that someone finally was putting his needs first.

-Later that day-

"It's not the nicest of apartments, but it's cheap and located close enough to Time Square that I can walk there within ten minutes." Rachel said as she slammed the car door. Finn couldn't help but notice the "Gleek" sticker on the bottom left corner of her car. They headed upstairs and she showed Finn the kitchen/living room. "My room is in the back and to the left there is the bathroom. Now as awful as I feel about leaving you already I have the 8-12 shift tonight at Ellen's and if you need _anything_, anything at all just call Jesse, his number is on the fridge. I'll be back at midnight and if you're up we are going to watch _Funny Girl_ with Barbra Streisand. I still can't leave you haven't seen it yet!" And with that Rachel ran out of the apartment to go sing and dance on tables for the next four hours.

Finn couldn't help but laugh at his new roommate. With the knowledge that she was doing all she could to help Finn and the thought of being paid to sing for the next couple of hours she seemed an entirely different person. Now Finn could see where the happy bubbly girl that Rachel had described herself as really was.

But as Finn sat down he had to think of how he was going to get out of this. It was clear that Rachel wouldn't just let him go after a couple weeks without knowing that the was in some way going to be taken care of. And there was no way he was going to tell her that he was homeless. Right now she saw him as a kind mysterious kid with a troubling past that he was trying to escape from. He hobbled over on his crutches to her impressive CD collection, it seemed that she had every musical that had ever been written. Rachel was clearly unlike anyone he had ever met and he chuckled to himself realizing that he never would have spoken to a girl like Rachel in high school.

As Finn had grown up he had always been tall and muscular, with light brown eyes that always seemed to notice everything. In high school he had dated the popular cheerleader, been the star quarterback and had decent enough grades. It wasn't until his senior year that things really began to fall apart for him. For some reason people never seem to be around when you need them the most and his girlfriend left him after he began spending more nights at home, to protect his mother. His grades started to slip because he was too embarrassed to go to school with the bruises he had on his body. His friends who had once seemed to worship him suddenly avoided him, as if they were afraid that if they got too close they might catch whatever disease had taken the sparkle out of their idol's eyes. He was a well rounded kid, and theater had always fascinated him but he preferred to sing in the comfort of his own shower. His father had done theater, his mother always used to tell him and in some ways when he sang he felt that he was getting closer to his father.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Finn opened it and there stood Jesse, as Finn figured because Rachel had told him that she didn't really know anyone else in the city.

"Hey I'm Jesse" the stranger said. "I know you're probably exhausted right now but I could really use a bite to eat and I figured I would show you where Rachel works. As annoying as she can be, when you see her perform, there's nothing that you could say against her.'' And so the new acquaintances made it down the street and got a table at Ellen's Stardust Diner and got to talking. Here Finn got to learn things about Rachel's past that she hadn't told him.

"Rachel is pretty honest about herself, I'll give her that. What I think is one of her strongest qualities is that she doesn't make any apologies for who she is. She knows what she wants and she sets out to go and get it. From the time she could walk she was dancing and her dads say that her first word was 'Broadway'. We've been friends for so long that I don't ever remember a time where she wasn't competing with me for the solo in a chorus concert or something."

As Jesse continued to ramble on about life growing up with Rachel, couldn't help but think that this necessarily wasn't what he had observed with Rachel. On the contrary, he felt that Rachel was sorry for how she was. She blamed her ambitious nature on the reason why she was so upset she got in a car drunk and as far as he could tell she had her doubts as to if she would make it in showbiz. Either Rachel was changing or she didn't often show the side she was showed to Finn.

After they got their food they were just about to begin to eat when Rachel got up to sing. When she began to sing the whole crowd stopped eating and talking as she stood up on the table. It was the song "Gimme Gimme" from the musical _Thoroughly Modern Millie_, one of her latest favorite musicals. It was as if the entire time she sang she was telling the audience of how she herself wanted to find love. She sang beautifully and there wasn't one person who wasn't spellbound. She noticed Finn sitting there with Jesse and smiled and walked over to their table for the grand finale. She threw her head back and belted out the last line of the song: "Gimme, gimme that thing called love!"

For a moment no one talked and then applause cut the air and filled the establishment, Finn clapping the loudest. Jesse just sat there and watched his best friend bask in the glory of the moment as he himself remembered fondly of performing before he decided he wanted to do something more realistic and safe with his life.

As Finn looked at Rachel he began to think, for the briefest of moments that maybe he was lucky to have been hit by Rachel. Still filled with horror and sorrow as to what he had read in the newspaper he decided he wouldn't deal with it now and he would just enjoy the few weeks he would have with Rachel before he would leave and head back out onto the streets to escape his troubled past.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: A Familiar Face

When Rachel got home that night they sat down and watched _Funny Girl_. Finn was surprised as to how much he had truly enjoyed it. He had only seen two plays, _Phantom of the Opera_ and _Rent _on Broadway but had never appreciated how much it took for someone to really make a name for themselves on Broadway. It wasn't necessarily having the talent, but it took drive and ambition and just enough luck to achieve your dream.

And so began a pattern, in the morning Finn and Rachel would work on his physical therapy and then they would go for a walk around Central Park with Jesse. Rachel would go to work and on nights when Finn wanted some entertainment he would call up Jesse and they would go and hear Rachel sing. Afterwards they would come back and listen to a musical's soundtrack or watch a classic movie. After a couple days Rachel even let Finn pick out a movie that he would wanted to watch. They began to switch off every other night and Rachel found herself enjoying movies that she never imagined that she would like.

In what seemed like no time at all, there was only three days left of Finn having his cast on and then Rachel would take him back to the hospital and he would no longer need to take care of him. She wasn't sure where things stood because as much as she would love for him to stay, Finn had made it clear that he would go back to whatever he was doing before the accident. She began to formulate a plan that would buy her just a little bit more time, because even though she knew she would never let herself fall in love before she made it on Broadway she didn't want to see Finn go.

Finn continued to keep his past hidden from Rachel at all costs but one day his whole story almost came out. They were taking one of their daily walks through the park when Finn suddenly saw Blake sleeping on a bench in front of them. He hoped and prayed that they would pass him without waking him but as his luck would have it, Blake woke up just in time to see his best friend walking on crutches with a pretty girl by his side. His whole face lit up as he called out "Finn! Over here man, I can't believe it's you!" He jogged over to Finn and Rachel and began excitedly talking about how he had been looking everywhere for Finn ever since he left the Center.

Rachel's look of confusion must have been apparent for Blake quickly introduced himself "Blake Renner, Finn here's best friend from the Center. Surely you've heard about me."

"Well actually I never really brought up to much about that time of my life." Finn quickly cut in. "Rachel, once I decided to leave home I needed someplace to stay so I found the Center, an organization that takes in boys off the street and offers them shelter."

Rachel was surprised but glad that Finn had finally shared something of his past with her, even if it might have been forced out a little. Finn took note happily that Rachel did not seem to be too bothered by the fact that Finn was homeless before she hit him. "Well it's really nice to meet you. Would you like to come over and freshen up? It can't be too nice having to live out on the streets."

Blake seemed pleased at the thought of a nice shower and came over to Rachel and Finn's apartment and showered. Afterwards Rachel noticed a sizable difference in Blake's demeanor. She could tell that here was a person who was used to taking what came his way and overcoming it. He seemed fresher and happier and Finn had finally relaxed once he realized that Blake wouldn't ruin the secret of his past. Rachel left them for work that night and Blake and Finn began to catch up on their lives for the month or so.

"So you are actually living here with the girl who hit you? I mean she's cute and all but think, you press charges and you could get enough money to get started on a life for yourself! And more importantly, how are you doing with..." Blake offered.

"I'm fine really. And it's not like that, she really a sweet girl and she didn't mean to do it. I'm being taken care of for the next couple of days and then I'm going to leave and we can go off together again and try to get a job somewhere, just to get a little money." Finn had been thinking a lot about whether or not he should leave but realized that if he stayed too long it might distract Rachel from her dreams. He noticed that she had not been to one single audition since he had moved in and was afraid that she was going to get too comfortable to this new rhythm of her life, as much as they both enjoyed it.

There was a knock on the door and Finn just called out "Come on in Jesse, I'm not going to dinner tonight but you can come and meet my friend Blake!" Jesse entered and the three sat down and started discussing Rachel and her show business and various aspects of living on the street.

"It's settled then!" said Jesse after hearing that Finn still intended on leaving once his cast was off. "For the next three days Blake can stay with me and help me catalog my files for work in exchange for some money and then you guys can leave afterwards."

Blake thanked him for his generosity and the two headed upstairs to get settled in. Just around 12:30 like every night Rachel came home from work and the two settled on the couch. It was Rachel's night to pick the entertainment that night and she chose to listen to the _Wicked _soundtrack and talk. Finn jokingly groaned at having to listen to this CD yet again and then filled Rachel in on the situation with Blake and Jesse and his plans to head out after his cast was off.

The news pushed Rachel to enact her plan a little earlier than expected. She got off the couch and brought back an invitation to Will Shuester and Emma Pillsbury's wedding. "You see, it's my favorite teacher, he's getting married to the school guidance counselor. I got this invitation over two months ago and still haven't RSVPd. I obviously am dying to go, I owe this man so much and they are the absolute cutest couple but..."

"But what?" Finn asked.

"You see, when I left for school my friends and classmates thought I was being stupid. As good as they thought I was the only ones who really thought I would get anywhere was my dads and Mr. Shue. They all mocked me saying that I was screwing up my life by risking everything for the slimmest of chances that I would actually make it on Broadway."

"I don't get it Rachel" Finn said calmly. "Jesse seems to think that you don't care what anyone thinks, that you are so determined that you don't have any doubts. But what I see is a girl that desperately wants to succeed, but also a girl who wants to fit in. To have someone who cares for her and won't leave her behind."

"Of course I have doubts" Rachel said quietly. " I just don't like people to see them because it makes me look weak. Well I was going to ask, the wedding is in a week from tomorrow. Maybe, I mean only if you wanted to, would you like to stay for just a week more and maybe go to the wedding with me? I mean it's not like I'm going alone because Jesse would there and I wouldn't lie if anyone asked who you were but.."

"Rachel, are you asking me to be your date to a wedding?" Finn asked with a smile.

"No! It's not like a date, more like an.. an escort! Would you come with me and just be my moral support at the wedding? I wouldn't ask it if it wasn't important but I figured it was a win win. You could stay here longer than necessary without feeling like a mooch and I could get an escort. And if Blake and Jesse really hit it off, maybe Jesse can take Blake with him and we can just have a fun road trip or something to the wedding!" Rachel said rather quickly, as she always does when she gets too excited.

Finn thought about it for a few seconds and knew he would probably regret this in the long wrong but after a moment he said "Sure, it's not like I have anything better to do but I would love to meet all these people who you say are like your family."

Rachel gave a little scream and jumped up and down and then ran over and threw her tiny body at Finn in a hug and said "Thank you so much, you're not going to regret! Now follow me!" She threw on her jacket and headed out the door.

Finn sighed and followed her down to a tiny club called Ally's Karaoke. She went in and said to him "This is my place I go to escape the troubles of being a struggling actress in a big city, here it doesn't matter how much of a success or a failure you are. All that counts is how much you enjoy singing and whether or not you give it your all." It was a Friday night and the place was decently crowded. "Good crowd" Rachel commented before sitting down at her usual table.

They laughed and talked as Rachel told him about her many friends, and enemies in her old Glee club. It was then that Finn brought up that sticker on the back of her car that said "Gleek." Rachel just laughed and explained it was just a term that people who were in Glee clubs called themselves, whenever she saw it it reminded her of where she came from. Finally, caught up in the moment, she grabbed Finn's hand and dashed him up on stage. She chose her favorite duet, "Don't Stop Believing" despite Finn's protests.

"No seriously, I don't like singing in front of people, I have stage fright!" But Rachel didn't care, she just shot him a smile that gave him enough courage to start singing the beginning notes. Whatever Rachel was expecting, it clearly wasn't for Finn to start singing breathtakingly wonderful. After being caught off guard for just a moment she got sucked back into the song and started singing. Together, they sang in perfect harmony and Finn realized how much he truly enjoyed singing and Rachel's presence. It wasn't until now however that he realized staying too much longer could lead to problems because he would never let himself get in the way of Rachel's dreams.

They finished off the song and the crowd went wild, they hadn't heard such a wonderful duet at the club in history. But right before they finished, just as they were finishing off their last chords Rachel and Finn stared off into each other's eyes. It was at that moment that Finn decided that he would for sure go to the wedding because Rachel needed him to go, but after that he would have to leave because if he didn't, if he stayed too much longer he might fall for her, if he hadn't already.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Wemma Wedding

With Blake, Jesse, Rachel, and Finn all crammed into the car, they were finally ready to go. The past week had been spent in the same enjoyable pattern and the four had really become such good friends.

"I'm kind of nervous about going back to tell you the truth" Jesse said. "I haven't been home since Christmas!"

"I'm looking forward to it, I haven't seen my parents in forever and I even missed the rest of the Gleeks. Now buckle up we have a ten hour car ride ahead of us." Rachel said and so they began a car ride where they jammed to whatever music they wanted, each person picking a song that they wanted to listen to.

When they arrived in Lima, Ohio everyone felt how extremely different it was from the hustle and bustle of New York City. They split up, Finn going to Rachel's house and Blake going to Jesse's. After spending twenty minutes convincing her fathers that Finn wasn't her boyfriend, only a friend she finally got to show him around town. She showed him her school and the local theater where she would perform and always get the leads and showed him the auditorium where she had spent most of her high school year dreaming of bigger things.

"It's weird to come back here" she said. "I always just thought that the next time I would be standing on this stage I would be donating thousands of dollars from the success of my Broadway debut."

The two had not talked about their shared moment on the karaoke stage but there was some sort of weird connection after that. Finn didn't offer to sing again and Rachel didn't ask him but it was as if there was tension there that hadn't existed before.

That next day they attended the wedding and the entire gang was there, it seems that everyone came back from wherever they were to attend this celebration of the two adults that were genuinely interested in their success. And what a celebration it was- a wonderfully white hall was lit with glass chandeliers and there were flowers aplenty on all the tables and the cake was a huge six tiered masterpiece with pearly white frosting. Everyone from the school attended, all of the juniors from Glee Club and some new kids too, and all of Rachel's friends who graduated. While everyone was certainly cordial to her it seemed that her fellow classmates appeared to be skeptical of her, as if they weren't sure how well off she was really doing. Most of these "friends" were people Rachel had screwed over somehow or stolen desired solos. It was understandable that they had wanted to see her fail but this fake niceness just plain hurt.

After a beautiful wedding ceremony that didn't leave behind a single dry eye there was a nice reception. Rachel saw her old friend Mercedes Jones, and went over to see how she was making it in Los Angeles. "I left within a month, they just aren't looking for another stereotypical big black woman with a voice like Aretha. So instead I started working at a fashion place in Seattle and it's actually going great! But how've you been doing? What show are you working on? Don't forget you promised to invite everyone down to see your Broadway debut!"

Then Rachel's old rival Quinn Fabray came over and cut in "Oh yeah! I'm dying to know how well you're doing. What was it you said last to me? 'I'm sorry that you're lashing out at me because you're jealous I'm going to make something of my life?' Well do you actually have anything to show for following your dreams in the city?"

Rachel was at a loss for words, she just wished that she could enjoy the wedding and leave, still saving her pride but it seemed that she was finally getting the abuse that she had deserved throughout high school. No longer were these people jealous of her, they realized that they were only ever equals and it was ridiculous to be jealous of her. Before she could respond Finn strolled over and grabbed Rachel's hand.

"Why hello ladies, if you could just excuse me and my girlfriend for a second." He kissed Rachel's cheek and then strolled away leaving two speechless girls. Clearly they had not expected that the tall hunky stranger was here with Rachel, much less her boyfriend!

"Thank you Finn, seriously, I won't ever be able to repay you. Even if they suspect we're not actually dating they might still be stung by the fact that you were even willing to do that for me." Rachel looked into Finn's eyes and smiled. "Well I have to go sing now, Mr. Shue asked me to show him how much better I got. Want to join me?

Finn politely declined and let her go up on stage and took a seat, ready to appreciate her beautiful song. He figured he should avoid singing with her at all costs or he might not be able to control himself next time. He smiled just at thought of how perfectly her little hand fit in his large, strong hands. Finn had just wanted to stop Mercedes and Quinn from picking on Rachel, but when he got up to them his hand just kind of shot out and he couldn't help but feel Rachel wanted him to keep holding it. And this is why he had to leave, he couldn't stand being any closer to Rachel without being able to grab her and kiss her.

Jesse came up to Finn and sat down. "Listen, Blake told me awhile ago why you left home. Rachel won't care if you just tell her. It was an awful situation. I saw how you held her hand and I think that she really likes you too.

Finn felt himself get angry and then he began to rant. "Yes it was an awful situation, I was there I am well aware of how bad it was. But what is Rachel going to think of me when she realized I left my mother alone with that _monster_. I already hate myself, I couldn't live with myself if she hated me too. Right now things are perfect, and I don't want any other stresses in her life. If I had known what was going to happen I never would have.. I _never_ would have.." Finn got up and left the reception hall and collapsed on the side of the building. He felt tears well up and had to keep himself under control. If Rachel came out and saw him like this she would make him tell her and he couldn't do it, he would never let Rachel know what kind of a person he was.

In that moment of clarity, the moment that he realized that now that Jesse knew he would never let Rachel go on not knowing. He felt betrayed by Blake and scared at the thought of Rachel finding out. However, he knew that he could not let himself go to that dark place again where he would want to commit suicide. As these thoughts came flying around his head as he headed for the bus station he went back to the day of the accident.

_Finn was reading the newspaper from cover to cover, and after doing so for six hours he was quite bored with it. Just as he was about to be done he read a small obituary at the bottom of the page. "_Mrs. Carol Hummel has passed away into a better life after a long battle with struggle. She leaves behind a loving husband and two sons." _Finn felt so much sorrow running through him he couldn't stand it. If he had stayed, even for another few months he could have spent the last few days of his mother's life with her, bringing brightness to an otherwise empty existence. He would never be able to go back and give forgiveness for his mother's choices and receive it for leaving her. Instead he has to live with the knowledge that he abandoned his mother with the thought that her own son didn't love her. Finn simply couldn't stand to live with that feeling for another second, with his mother gone there was not one reason to be left alive on this miserable Earth. He made the decision to end it, but clearly fate had more in store for him when it sent Rachel Berry barreling down the street._

As he finally began to deal with his emotions Rachel came out of the door, in an incredible red dress that hugged her body Finn was overcome with emotion and broke down crying into her lap. Instead of pestering him with questions she allowed him to just let it all out, and he did.

The trip back home was uneventful, Finn had recollected himself within moments of his meltdown and was able to go back inside and pretend as if nothing was wrong. They spent the night at Rachel's old house and then left the following afternoon. It was hard not to notice the tension in the car, the light had gone out of Finn's eyes and Rachel knew something bad was going to happen.

They got back to their apartments late that night and quickly fell asleep. When Rachel woke up that morning, all ready for her walk with Finn she could tell something was off. There was no coffee brewing and there was no musical playing in the background as Finn picked up the house as usual. Rachel stumbled out of her bedroom and saw that Finn's few belongings were gone. She ran over to the couch where she only left him not more than eight hours previously and on it was a note that read: "_I did it so that your dreams might one day become true. Don't intend on finding me, just promise that you will once again throw yourself into your work."_

It wasn't until that moment that Rachel had seen what Finn had been seeing for the better part of a month. She realized she had fallen for Finn without ever realizing it. It had happened so subtly that she didn't even notice the change and she didn't even know the moment when she stopped trying to get auditions, but she had. She knew that if she actually got a good job then she would see less of Finn. Rachel was shocked, she had promised herself that no matter what happened in her life she would never _ever _allow herself to fall in love with anyone because of that very reason, it would compromise her dreams. However, she had never expected this to happen, that she cared less about her dreams than she did about being in love. The feelings she shared with Finn were more of a high than being on stage and performing. But as the way love works, she realized this too late and now she would never get the chance to tell Finn that she chose him over her dreams of being a star. Rachel knew that if Finn didn't want to be found he wouldn't, so there was no point in going out to search. As she felt the tears begin to fall she sat down on the couch where her and Finn had watched _Into the Woods_ just a couple of nights ago she began to sob uncontrollably at the thought that she never even got to share one kiss with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Love Apart

For the next few months Rachel slipped into a depressed state. She went to work, came home and slept and only sang at work; even then when sang her heart was no longer in it. She just couldn't seem to find the same drive she had before she had met Finn. Being in love, Rachel found, the kind of love where you get butterflies in your stomach and a tingle up your spine is such a powerful thing that suddenly when it's gone, is not something easily replaced.

One day Jesse came over and saw her wallowing, watching reruns of _Gilmore Girls_ that he couldn't take it anymore. "Pull yourself together Rachel, this is _not_ what Finn would have wanted!" he angrily shouted "He left so that you wouldn't do exactly what you are doing! _Not_ following your dreams was his biggest fear. The thought of you singing one day in front of a huge crowd was too irresistible for him because he knew how happy you'd be. I know you think that it is the end of the world but you need to realize that there will be other Finns in the world and that one will love you again someday. But for now, when you are so close to your dreams you need to focus on getting somewhere. I actually somehow managed to get you an audition in _Mary Poppins_ as the lead on Broadway! Apparently Blake's mother was an old actress who knew a guy who knew a guy who knows the old- Mary Poppins!"

With Jesse's rant over Rachel let the few bits and pieces she actually heard sink in. Taking this audition would be huge, even if she didn't get the role it would at least put her name out there. And on _Broadway_? How could she resist? Also, the thing that really struck her was that Jesse was absolutely right, Finn couldn't resist Rachel singing on Broadway and seeing how happy his decision to leave her made her feel, even if for the wrong reasons. If Rachel could get this role, if she could manage to somehow jump ahead in her career to get the lead in a classic musical, her face would be on billboards. Her face would be plastered around the city and Finn, no matter where he was hiding from her would see it and just _have _to come. As all of this worked through her brain Jesse could see that she was really considering. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye he could see Rachel's whole face change from depression back to the determined, spunky girl he grew up with. "Well I'll have to work on my British accent you know" she rambled on, "And that's hardly something someone can perfect in a week. Oh bugger, how will I ever find the time to prepare for such a famous part?" And Rachel strolled out of the room mumbling to herself in a horrible attempt at a British accent. But Jesse smiled because he knew that Rachel would overcome this accent-issue like she overcame every other problem in her life, head on.

And prepare she did. Rachel only ate tea and scones and watched every movie she could find with the people talking in British accents. The next week was a blur as she practiced for hours "A Spoonful of Sugar" and her old-time favorite "Don't Rain on My Parade." As the day began to draw near she began to realize that maybe Finn _had_ given her a gift by leaving. She was driven to succeed more than anything but once Finn had left and her plan was to get the part so she was able to see him, there now existed this kind of need to get the part. Not just desire for stardom and fame but almost a primal instinct, a matter of life or death that pushed her to fully immerse herself in this project.

Finally, the day was upon her for her audition. Her and Jesse drove over to the New Amsterdam Theater on 42nd St. and sat down and waited for her turn. As she sat there and saw these actresses she couldn't help but feel that they were all more qualified than her and that she herself had almost nothing to compare but she certainly wasn't complaining, she was happy that Blake had gotten her this chance. She didn't know where she stood on Blake because she could tell he made Jesse happy but she couldn't tell if it was really like that for Blake. As she tried to assess the situation in her head she vaguely heard her name being called.

"Ms. Rachel Berry?" called a kind elderly Indian man. "I'm the director, Mr. Figgins and I have heard many wonderful things about you. I'm sure you won't disappoint."

As Rachel got up there she realized that this was her shining moment and she was ready. In the last moment before she started she realized her song choice was all wrong and she had the pianist change it. As she started singing she knew she made the right choice. Not only did she kill the song, effortlessly caressing all the notes to "What I Did For Love" but she managed to get a standing ovation from not only Mr. Figgins but a lot of the other women who were there auditioning for the part as well. She looked over at Jesse and saw he had some tears in his eyes she felt relief and happiness.

The next few weeks were hell, as she tried and focused on working extra hours and enjoying Ally's Karaoke in case she got the job in which case she would have no time for to relax. Finally, after what seemed like forever but was really only twelve days she got the call, that she got the part! Ecstatic, Rachel jumped for joy as she dialed her parents and Jesse unwilling to believe that she had actually gotten a part on Broadway!

And so Rachel began memorizing lines and practicing songs. She ate, spoke, and slept in the attitude of a British nanny with a secret love for fun and magic. She quit her job at Ellen's Stardust Diner and focused all on her big opening night. There was a photo shoot just like she had been hoping, and one of the posters would appear in Times Square. No matter where she went, no matter what corner she turned or door she entered she both prayed and dreamed that Finn would be waiting around there with a giant hug in his cuddly way. She didn't know why he didn't pop up yet, she had gotten the part she had achieved her dream, for the most part. (She wouldn't be satisfied until her name was just as recognized as Patti Lupone's or Bernadette Peters'.)

At the theater itself she found things she had not expected to find, the cute children made her realize she one day wanted children and her chorus members were devoted to her talent making her feel loved. Even her male lead, the slightly older but still incredibly sexy Sam Evans who played Bert made her feel special. Her complete level of newness to Broadway acting didn't even seem to bother them, they were in awe as her as much as she was to them. As the countdown to opening night seemed to fly by Rachel's anger and resentment to Finn not showing up drove her crazy. If he still cared, if he loved her as much as she had thought he did he would have stayed in the city, saw the billboards and ran into her in an epic moment on the streets just like in the movies. Over the days however, these feelings dwindled as she realized that she had been wrong about Finn and that he just used her dreams as an excuse to leave. And what else really pissed her off was that she would never find out what had driven Finn to sob hysterically on her lap the day of the wedding. One night, Sam asked her to get coffee after the show and wanting nothing more than to get Finn off her mind, she agreed.

He took her to a wonderful little internet cafe and they talked and laughed and had a good time. They talked about the show, which fellow cast members could sing or act and they traded stories about the worst acting jobs they had had before this one. The two laughed at how even though it was so hard to break in that they had the time of their lives doing it so it wouldn't matter in the long run. As good as he made her feel when he complimented her and she couldn't deny he had a sexy, roguish charm about him all she could think about was Finn. When he was talking about how much he admired Ben Vereen's performance in Pippin all she could think of was how Finn and her had laughed at how creepy it was and how they could have picked anyone off the streets to do a better job. While this man and her seemed to have everything in common Rachel found herself longing for the debate, the sharing and exchanging of worlds that have every right to be mixed. Show choir and sports, fine dining and Carnegie Deli's Triple Decker Sandwich, XBOX vs. Karaoke. All of these things they had done and talked about and experienced together was better than a relationship where everything fit so perfectly. So although Rachel didn't feel that spark of passion and excitement she felt with Finn she began seeing Sam, although she knew that if Finn showed up on opening night then she would have no choice but to take him back.

For the next couple of weeks she began to spend time with Sam and realize how nice of a man he was but how truly not exciting he was. The time they had the best chemistry was on stage when she would see how truly talented he was and hoped to one day be as carefree and happy as him. At long last opening night had arrived and Rachel looked around every corner, desperate for Finn to be there, or maybe flowers from a "secret admirer" or even a letter of congratulations in her mailbox. But she got nothing, no word from him but all of Lima High School (or so it seemed) had gathered in the theater, Will and Emma, her fathers, Quinn, Mercedes, and everyone who had ever promised to be there for her Broadway debut. Selfishly she realized that after all her hopes and dreams the one person who she truly desired to be there, who she _needed_ there was no where to be seen.

However, once the curtain opened for the first time Rachel forgot all about the ache in her heart and gave it her all. Not just for her, but for the people who had supported her over the years and gave her the confidence she had needed to go so far. As the crowd loved her, she basked in their warm love and felt it wash over her, as if washing the memory of Finn out of her mind and gave her a fresh start. At the closing of the show she searched the crowd for Finn but to no avail. In her jubilation and excitement, the unbelievable high she had just received was more than anything she had felt before and she realized that all of her efforts and pains and sacrifices had been worth it for just this moment alone. She was beloved, she had delivered a Mary Poppins to rival Julie Andrews and she couldn't help but think she sounded _better_. As the curtain closed Sam rushed up to her congratulating her.

"You were great, truly wonderful. I have never heard you perform better and the crowd loved us! I can't wait to do this every day for as long as this lasts!" And with that final sentence he picked her up and he kissed her. Not deeply or passionately, but enough to send a clear message to Rachel that Sam's feelings for her were genuine. While Rachel did not feel the spark she felt she should, she could tell Sam was sincere and kind and truly talented. If Finn could truly not care enough to even come to her opening, the moment he had sacrificed their love for she was free to date whomever she wanted.

After that, Rachel took Sam's hand and went out the Stage Door to meet her adoring fans and friends, colleagues and relatives and reveled in the glory of the moment, that she, Rachel Berry, was a star.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Love's A Bitch

_Months previously, right after Finn left Rachel's apartment_

Finn was still running down the stairs when he had the feeling what he was doing wrong. This wouldn't be the first time he would feel like, in fact this feeling would follow him where ever he went. His pocket still heavy from the money that Jesse and Blake had given him after he had told them his plans. While Blake was reluctant to allow his friend to do this but Jesse saw the necessity of this plan. He had noticed the change overcoming Rachel when it came to her career but he never would have asked Finn to do this. Jesse felt that he should at least tell her he what he was doing but Finn knew that if he saw Rachel's crushed face then he would never leave.

And so he left in the middle of the night, planning to just go back to living on the streets again. And he did. Through the cold months of December and January he huddled under canopies and used newspapers as blankets. As he lay there he couldn't help but think he should be enjoying the end of the football season at Elmira College right about now, not risking pneumonia out on the harsh streets of New York City. But he couldn't go home, he couldn't handle it yet. He had no idea what was going on with Burt and Kurt or if his mother left him anything but he couldn't go back and check. His past life was too painful to think about, much less go back to. Finn knew if he saw Burt he wouldn't be able to help himself from hurting him. Plus, at the back of his mind he couldn't help thinking about Rachel.

One day, the temptation proved too great and he went to Ally's Karaoke only to find out that Rachel hadn't been there in months. The worry got to him and he even risked heading up to Jesse's apartment.

"I'm so sorry dude but it's as if you're plan didn't work." Sam replied sorrowfully. "It actually kind of backfired, I don't think she's done anything of note except stop shaving her pits and gave up on the whole bathing thing. Maybe you should just come back and try and convince her, push her."

"I can't do that" Finn replied, "She won't forgive me and then we'll just have an angry Rachel on our hands. No, I need to come up with a plan. I need to get her something she can't refuse. Something that when she hears about it it will re-spark her love for the theater."

"But what?" Jesse asked. "I'm her agent and I can't find anything. She just doesn't have the experience or credentials to land her a dream role."

"I'll get it for her. I'm not sure how yet but I'll get her that role. Something irresistible! I'll be in touch guys. Keep pushing her, and I'll see you guys in a month and try and make sure she's not around, I almost had a heart attack walking up the stairs!"

Freshly showered and feeling full Finn walked out onto the streets and realized that he would have to go right to the source. He walked through many theaters, looking for jobs (Jesse and Blake had helped him make a resume) and he realized that he had to get a start on his life. Rachel deserved someone who at least had a job and could shower on a regular basis anyway. Although his work experience was limited his charm and warm smile helped him finally land a job at the New Amsterdam Theater which was currently hosting _Mary Poppins_. He remembered how Rachel and he sat on the couch and watched the movie and could hear Rachel complaining how Julie Andrew's voice was good but nothing special, and she could have performed a much better version of it herself.

He was a handyman, a janitor, a painter and heavy lifter; pretty much whatever job needed done Finn was there to help the show. Finn had heard a rumor that the current role of Mary Poppins would soon need a new star, the current one would be leaving shortly. He knew that this was his opportunity and he asked to meet with the director after the show.

"Sir, I'm sure you get this all the time but you don't understand, Rachel is truly a star. She would blow your mind if you would just give her the chance.."

"I'm sorry Mr. Hudson" Figgins shortly replied. "I can't give her any special treatment, if you can get her agent to get it through the casting department then I'll be glad to hear her sing."

Instead of giving up Finn just became more determined than ever to get Rachel this part. He decided that if he could get the male lead, a man named Sam Evans to get the part then maybe he could convince Figgins to let her in. Finn new that Rachel's weak experience wouldn't be enough to get through the casting people.

He managed to convince Sam to go to Ellen's Stardust Diner and Finn was extra careful to grow a beard, wear different clothes and walk hunched over. He had been making enough to live in the tiniest of apartments thirty streets away from work but it had been worth it. He walked to Sam's place and then they both walked over to the Diner. When Rachel got up to sing he prayed that she would pick one to really get her to open up and she didn't fail him. She sang "It's All the Same" from the musical _Man of La Mancha_ and she truly rocked it. Sam was clearly impressed but Finn didn't like the way that Sam was looking at Rachel's incredible body with a hungry look on his eyes. Sam promised to keep this dinner with Sam a secret and promised that he would beg Figgins to giver her an audition. Finn then ran from the diner up to Jesse and Blake's apartment and filled them in.

Things started happening quickly after that. Figgins agreed to listen to "the girl" that Sam told him about, thankfully not realizing that it was the same girl that Finn had pushed so hard for. Back at Jesse's place Finn told them what was going to happen and told them to lie about how she got the audition, telling Blake to tell her he knew someone who got her in. The last step of the plan to make sure that Rachel couldn't trace any of this back to Finn was asking Figgins to put him off stage at all times. He asked that he stick only to the cat walk and fixing backdrops and cleaning up after shows. In no way would he allow Rachel to see him and mess everything up.

On the day of Rachel's audition Finn couldn't resist sitting in the lights booth, watching and listening to her sing the most beautiful rendition of "What I Did For Love" he could ever imagine. When she finished and everyone got up and clapped he knew that she had gotten the part. That day he almost ran up to her and hugged her right there but he was too afraid of how mad she would be, afraid that she would yell and cry and would never want to speak to him again.

So he decided that he would wait and see her opening night and surprise her with flowers and be waiting backstage. He began to fantasize at all of the wonderful moments they would share and how there kiss would last only a moment but seem to last an eternity. So he watched from afar as Rachel struggled with her part and was pleased to see the transformation that took place over her. She began to look how she did when he first met her, bright eyes and full of hope, delicate but certainly not weak. Her laugh could fill the entire theater and her smile could light the stage. What he didn't like was Sam's obvious and not-so-subtle attempts to woo her. He watched as Sam made jokes and fooled around, complimented her and did all of things that he knew Rachel would like. Finn was kicking himself for telling Sam all about him and Rachel. He had just been so secluded and lonely for so long it felt good to tell someone what he was thinking and feeling. And now this toolbag was using his moves to win over the girl of his dreams! As much as he didn't like it he could tell Rachel was being cautious and hesitant and not interested all that much, he just wanted opening night to happen so that he could profess his love for her and push Sam out of the picture for good.

Hardly content on watching his vision of beauty from afar, Finn forced himself to never go near her and avoid her no matter how hard it got. Finally opening night came and Rachel was simply indescribable. She mastered the attitude and the accent, the acting and of course the singing. Finn got the warmest happy feeling as he realized that the crowd loved her. But it wasn't until the end of the show that Finn saw what he wanted. As Rachel got up front for the curtain call she looked positively radiant. Happier than he had ever seen her, he quickly grabbed the flowers and dashed to the front of the stage, more than ready to finally explain and tell her proud of her he was.

As he rushed up onto the stage and she was finally in her sights, he saw her turn to the left and kiss Sam. This put Finn to a halt as he watched with horror as _Rachel_ went for _his_ hand and together they walked out of the stage doors. Such severe pain rushed through Finn's heart as he realized that he waited too long. Maybe destiny had struck a deal and he just didn't know the cost before he started, but it seemed that in exchange for Rachel's dreams he had to give up their love. He wasn't sure what to do now, but he knew that no matter what happened he couldn't stand there and watch Rachel and Sam together every day, it would be too painful.

As he slowly made his way back to his apartment after cleaning up he thought about the kiss and how Rachel clearly wasn't as into Sam as she should be. From what he knew about Rachel she was a hopeless romantic despite the fact she never really dated. She began to sob uncontrollably during Step Up and every movie with a passionate kissing scene. Rachel had discussed with him how a kiss should be not only filled with love but with desire and passion, of secret longing and comfort all rolled into one. The kiss with Sam was hardly even a smooch much less a happy kiss of excitement and thrill. As these thoughts ran through his head he realized that maybe not all was lost. However, he decided that if this relationship was what was making Rachel truly happy then he wouldn't stand in the way. So he made the decision he would continue to work at the theater and watch over them, to make sure that Rachel was okay and happy. If he found that she wasn't happy, that he was treating her wrong or that she deserved better than he would present himself to her and force her to see the truth. All was not lost, there was still hope. At least that's what Finn kept telling himself, in the hopes that one day Rachel would realize that Sam was not the man for her.

Sam Evans was a man who was used to getting what he wanted. Tall and muscular, with beach-blonde hair and a large mouth filled with pearly white teeth girls usually flocked to him. Rachel was different, she was exciting and new but she wasn't exactly the wild girl that he had been hoping for. From what Finn had told her he should have known that she was just really a sweet girl but he figured that Finn just hadn't wanted to to embarrass her. Ever since their first date went really well he figured that maybe it was time to settle down and marry. He juggled the idea, back and forth it went in his mind as he tried desperately what to do with this Broadway star he had found.

On opening night, as he saw Finn coming towards her with flowers he realized that he had to make a choice. If he let Finn get to her then all was lost and he would lose his latest toy. So he decided he would rush their relationship a little and he grabbed her and kissed her but it was hardly filled with love and pent-up sexual tension. In fact, it was kind of boring but it got the message clear across to Finn. With satisfaction, Sam watched as Finn walked away and dropped the flowers he was carrying into the trash. He didn't know how much longer this could last, this keeping Finn away from her but he knew that he wouldn't let Finn win. Finally Rachel seemed interesting and even exciting to him because he was winning, he had the sought out after prize and for now, he was going to enjoy it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: A Love That Never Dies

Over the next year of Rachel and Finn's lives they never ran into one another, Finn made sure of that. Finn painfully watched as Rachel fell for Sam Evans, the hunky star and together they made quite a cute couple. Finn stayed at the theater as a janitor, just to be able to watch over Rachel and protect her, making sure that she was happy. If she didn't want to be with him he would have to survive, but she would at least have to be happy.

Rachel and Sam went on dates and fell into a comfortable pattern. They enjoyed all the same music, all the same movies and enjoyed going to museums and examining art galleries together. In fact, some could say that Rachel and Sam were perfect for each other. Others, however, could say that Rachel wasn't truly happy. Under the careful eyes of Blake and Jesse they could plainly see that the spark wasn't there for Rachel. While Jesse had almost gotten sick of hearing stories about Finn and what funny thing he said, Rachel never spoke about Sam.

This rhythm they had fallen into was no longer exciting but it was safe. Rachel was never bored, there were always things to do and people to see, but she still found herself missing Finn's taste of adventure (despite the fact he was on crutches) and the surprises that made her day. While Sam was always careful to remember their anniversary, to take her out to dinner and buy her a necklace it didn't make Rachel feel the things she associated with love. Despite her efforts to block Finn from her brain a memory rose unbidden to the front of her mind. It was of the last day Finn was with her, at her house before they left to head back to the City.

_"Rachel I feel like I haven't really gotten a chance to thank you for all you've done." Finn said as he looked sheepishly at the ground. "I can never repay you for your kindness, and what's even more incredible is you made it seem like I didn't have a choice. You took me into your home, introduced me to your friends without a shred of doubt. I know I don't have money or any possessions to give you but I looked all morning and I finally found this." From behind his back he presented Rachel a dark red rose. "I know it's not much but look at it, it's flawless. Just like you. When you think of me, wherever we are in life I want you to remember this moment and how I am looking at you right now, because I know you are perfect." _

While there is a lot to be said for the man who showers his woman with extravagant gifts and flashy displays of affection, it is the rare man that can recognize the perfect beauty behind a simple rose.

Rachel smiled as the memory played in her head and was filled with sorrow and went to the dark place she always did when she missed Finn. Her life was great, she was happy and successful with a great boyfriend. Then why did she spend all her time pining after him? He clearly didn't love her the way that she had so desperately hoped he did. She made a vow to herself in that moment that she would allow herself this one night to wallow in self pity over what she had lost but after that, after tonight there would no more tears. It had been over a year since that fateful morning Finn left her and she refused to be the whiny girl who refused to take the hint.

On a whim, feeling the connection between her old familiar haunt and the night that brought them together over a year ago she went to Ally's Karaoke. She sat at her usual table and got a drink and thought back over the last year of her life. She thought about herself in this exact moment and how just over a year ago if she knew what she would have going on she would have been more than content with her life, she would have been overjoyed. It was Finn, that lovable sweet man who swept her off her feet and made her think about all that had ever wanted this past year was him. Maybe it was for the best to let things go, because it was time for her to take the next step and accept Sam's wedding proposal.

She got up to sing a song, one that had a deep meaning in her life as she so loved to do. She asked them to play "Already Gone" by the Eagles and she lost herself in the song, transported herself to a different world and forced herself to channel the meaning of the song:

"Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free/

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains/

And we never even know we have the key/

But me, I'm already gone."

Rachel started crying as she finished the song but managed to conceal it as she let the crowd of people clap for her wonderful performance. Just as she sat down, Finn sat down opposite against her. "Did you mean it?" He asked with a touch of sadness. "Are you really over me?"

OoOoOo

Rachel just sat there dumbfounded. She didn't know what to think. For one who loved to talk Rachel didn't know what to say. She had thought about all of the things she would tell Finn if she should ever meet him again. How she hated him, how she missed him, how she cried for him, how she wished she had never met him, how she loved him. All of those things rushed through her head at once but the only thing that came to mind was "How did you know I would be here?" she asked coldly.

"I've come here every night since your opening debut." Finn told her. "I was kicking myself over and over again for not running up to you that night, I had the flowers, I was all ready to do it!"

"Then why didn't you?" Rachel asked him. "Do you know how I waited? How I longed for your approval or congratulations or even blessing for that show? You could have been lying in a ditch for all I knew! I _hated_ you for not coming and you show up here telling me you were there the whole time! What, did you chicken out? Too afraid I would tell you what an awful human being you are?!"

"I saw you kiss Sam." Finn replied, with a touch of sadness.

"Oh." Rachel replied, suddenly embarrassed. "If I had known you were there I never would have..."

"It wasn't my place to butt in. I had left you, for all I knew you had hated me. I'm only telling you all this because I can't bear the thought that for one more second you are thinking that I wasn't madly in love with you!" Finn hadn't realized how he was shouting until he looked around and everyone was staring at them.

"Let's go to my place." Rachel whispered. "I don't need everyone gossiping about me."

"Lead the way." Finn said, motioning his hands towards the door and towards fate.

OoOoOo

They got back to Rachel's apartment and they both collapsed on the couch, exhausted from the emotions that were draining their energy.

"I want answers." Rachel said, and although she did not specify what she wanted to know Finn knew. He began to tell her of his life back home, how his dad dying affected him and his mom so hard and his mother's constant search for true love. How when he finally met Burt he was truly happy until he started beating his mom. He recounted countless stories of pain and hurt, anxiety and misery that no eighteen year old boy should have to bear. They all came pouring out of him in a cascading wave of raw emotions that Rachel took in, desperate to understand how this scared boy could have grown to be the wonderful man that she had grown to love. After Finn told about the part at graduation Rachel began to cry, tears streaming down her face as she realized how much hurt that Finn had gone through in his life.

However, when Finn got to the point of his story of his discovery of his own mother's death in the newspaper and how he would never get a chance to apologize for running away Finn began to cry too. It was at this exact second that Rachel realized not just how vulnerable Finn was but about how lonely he was. He truly felt like he had no one in the world left to love him but he certainly had at least one. Rachel leaned in to hug him, but as she looks back on this moment in time she is never really sure what happened, one moment she was stroking his head that was resting on her chest and the next second his mouth was on hers kissing her savagely.

To be clear, Rachel was by no means a virgin, and her and Sam and "made love" enough for her to understand why men and women were so fond of it. But as she began to kiss Finn she truly understood the meaning of the phrase "making love." Never before had she felt so hungry, like she _needed_ Finn and that he needed her. Their kisses grew more passionate as their tongues collided inside each other's mouths examining every inch of the others. Suddenly Finn's large and gentle hands didn't seem so cuddly as they once did. They seemed to have a mind of their own as they examined every inch of her body. Reaching, pulling, grabbing, smacking, exploring. As she let him do things to her that she had fantasized about in her wildest dreams she could not help but feel how happy she was. She would give up everything, and she meant anything to be with Finn for the rest of her life and not have to worry about singing or dancing or Broadway, getting call backs and waiting endless hours for the phone to ring or if the audience would love her.

For the next couple of hours or so they let out all of their sexual tension and secret desires. They kissed, they talked, they made love, and realized that they both truly loved each other more than anything in the world and if they wanted to take the chance, they could be together. As they fell asleep in each others arms it seemed as if they had the world at their fingers.

OoOoOo

Finn awoke however with Rachel sobbing hysterically. As he tried to comfort her she began to pound on his chest as hard as she could screaming. "I can't do this Finn. I was finally getting over you. I was finally on my way to being with someone safe. That's what I need Finn, I need someone safe. Someone who I wouldn't give everything in the world to be with for just one more day. You scare me Finn, because of your power over me and what's worse is you don't even see it. When I look at you all I can see is everything I would give up, I love you Finn Hudson, I really do. _Now get out!_" And Rachel began to cry all over again into Finn's arms as he held her there smiling. Because she had said it. "I love you" was all he needed to hear. No matter what happened now, he could die knowing that he wasn't wrong, that he and Rachel Berry were in love.

"Look Rachel, I'm not going to bother you again. I will continue to go to Ally's Karaoke every night, maybe even sing a little here or there but understand this, that no matter when it is, I will be there waiting." And with that Finn left Rachel staring at the door, wondering what to think.

As she sat down on the couch where they had just had sex she began to feel happy, giddy even. She loved Finn Hudson more than she could possibly say and, freakout aside, she wanted to be with him. But she would have to break up with Sam, tell him what happened and own up to her mistakes. But first, she had to call Jesse and fill her in on what had just happened.

OoOoO

Finn walked down the road with a smile on his face, thinking of all the different ways that he would make Rachel happy in his life. As he got on the bus headed downtown to his apartment he couldn't ever remember feeling as happy as he did in that moment. Rachel Berry, up and coming Broadway star and love of his life confessed his love for him. What could be better? As the bus began to go over the Brooklyn Bridge he grew confused. He felt the car slam into the side of the bus and push the bus over. Just as the bus hit the guard rail he realized:

_I got on the wrong bus._


End file.
